Whilst most of the time I manage to keep my spirits up the oxaliplatin treatment (due this coming Thursday) or contemplating it nearly always manages to bring them down.
First there is the time spent at the hospital, usually at least 10 hours & then there’s the side effects which seem to be the worst of all the drugs I am taking.
In the arm into which it’s administered it nearly always leaves it feeling as I imagine the affected limbs of stroke victims feel, heavy and useless, aching for days afterwards. I’ve learned not to try to do any cooking for about a week after but earlier this month during my first attempt after a week’s break I began to cook but got awful, awful electric type shocks in my hands as I handled the vegetables and the knife which even warm water couldn’t relieve and left me shouting out. It left so fed up of it all I didn’t know how much more I could take.
To this was added losing the feeling in my feet from time to time. As soon as one set of symptoms disappear it seems they’re followed by another. I felt so miserable. It would all be easier to cope with if I was getting more
and/or a better quality of sleep. It would be more bearable if I thought there was an end in sight but all I have to look forward to is more of the same, things getting worse and then death.
Hiya Elaine, Despite the horrors of your illness and the misery of the treatment, in the face of uncertainty and possibly an early death, I have been stunned by how brave and resourceful you have been/are still. I know it sometimes feels hopeless and that we can’t imagine what it’s like to be in your shoes, but I’m proud of you, and still have a very strong feeling (shared by other people too) that you are going to stick around!! Love and hugs as ever.
I am sad to hear you sounding \\\”down\\\” and hope that you will soon get some relief from your symptoms. Your honesty, however, is inspiring.